just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
