We're facebook friends in real life
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize