How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
