There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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