You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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