I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
