PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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