fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
