I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
