Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize