rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
