i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
