So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
