I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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