Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
