Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dick very happy bro
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
