her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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