Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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