Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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