Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
