Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
