Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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