i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize