Your mouth is God's brothel.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
the liver wants what the liver wants
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
