i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
