I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
