Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
