I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
they're like a gay fantastic four
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
