That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
The ass gains better be worth it
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