Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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