i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
