Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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