We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
