Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
