It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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