they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize