Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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