Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
