Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
