Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
