So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
