Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Randomize
