just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
