the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm passing your future prison.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
