Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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