You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
