i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
