im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
