Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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