You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
