FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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