That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
oh god was she eating orange peels again
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
