she looked like the before picture.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
