i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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