This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
