We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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