can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
