He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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