yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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