I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
