he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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