hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
actually, I'm a sock model
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
