ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Couch. On fire.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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